"¡EMAIL!", I shouted up to the heavens as Jerry Seinfeld does when muttering the name of his arch nemesis Newman. It comes at me fast. Every form of messaging in my inbox--email, Facebook, Twitter, and online dating direct messages--needs serious housecleaning. "Archiving" really means not knowing--or caring--why there's correspondence from 2009 at the end of a looooonng queue. Answer RIGHT AWAY, Viviana, lest a note get lost in email purgatory, leaving someone's feelings hurt.
I hate it.
¡K, K K!
Not all of it.
Like an email from Fox News Channel's The O'Reilly Factor:
"Bill thinks your political analysis combines Jon Stewart's wit, Ghida Fhakhry's elegance, and Peggy Noonan's ease. He wants you to be on the show and talk about the significance of the Univision presidential candidate forums," declared the producer who had really done his homework on this potential guest.
My poquito literary license aside, seems Bill reads me: click to read "Why There Should Not Be a 'Latino' Debate".
"This afternoon? As long as it's before 5:30 since I have happy hour with my papis," I cooly answered (some of you remember they visited for six weeks this fall, becoming my two fave accessories since they went EVERYWHERE with me).
Actually, I'll admit I paused...
Which Bill O'Reilly would show up?
The mad one who talks over his guests, verbally filleting them?
Entertainer Bill. Tu sabes, like the smart alec in grammar school who flirts with being annoying but is just really funny.
"You hab to go," urged Papi, who has always encouraged my flights of fancy and imagination, never believing his daughter could crash.
So I did.
And I'm glad.
I had soooooo much fun! Teamed up with immigration attorney Francisco Hernandez, Bill was all business for the few minutes we were on with him.
"OK guys, keep it straight. No spin, OK?," warned Bill like the stern teacher he must of been in his past life (Jes. HE told US to keep a lid on the spin).
And we were off!
Bill had points he wanted to communicate. But so did I: that the Univision co-anchors María Elena Salinas and Jorge Ramos are among the finest journalists, going head-to-head any day with the mainstream news org's heavy weights. Their grilling of both candidates exposed the Commission on Presidential Debates exclusive, not to say reductive, view that defines diversity solely as a white woman. Diversity, I argue, is not just racial, ethnic, and about gender. It's also geographic, socio-economic, and yes, ideological.
Bill's grinned de par en par, giving the Cheshire cat serious competition in the Biggest Grin Category.
Click here to watch the video of my first debate on The O'Reilly Factor which aired on September 21, 2012.