Rafael Nadal's Team Talking Amongst Themselves:
Manager: "Rafa has those dark looks, you know, Federer but with a pulse."
Publicist: "Sí, it's true. He's 24, dangerously close to being over the hill. Forget the tweens. They're into Justin Bieber who I still can't understand how the singing equivalent of fast food landed on the cover of Vanity Fair. Let's make a play for Las Cougars!"
Coach: "The only play I want Rafa to make is on the court, so he can snag more endorsements and help me retire early to Mallorca. That way I can rave late into the night with Euro-fab trash."
Manager: "The Cougars, of course! But these ladies can be demanding vixens. They're going to want to not just see Rafael baring it. They're going to want to see him in posiciones muy risque."
Publicist: "Hmmm. I've got it! How about bending over a wooden bench, like the ones you would find in a rickety shed!"
Coach: "The only bench I want Rafa on is while he's pressing hundreds of pounds."
Manager: "Exactamente. We'll go very Harlequin. He'll wear blue jeans, like workmen do, only instead of Levi's or Zara on sale, they'll be Emporio Armani. Then we'll have him arch his back and show his butt crack, not like the plumbers do. We're going for sexxxxeeee, not Vinny Carwash."
Publicist. "Brillante! We'll have Rafa in a pose that exudes sexy, brooding, tall, dark, and handsome Latino macho striking a pose that normal people would never. And because it's such a fantasy, we'll have it plastered all over the Disneyfied-shrine-to-artifice--Times Square."
Manager: "Yes, that's it. I'm sure Giorgio will clearly see that he'll sell mucho jeans to the masses. The proles will bankroll the upscale branch of his brand. You know, the draping fabrics that clothe the uber-rich who are sartorially challenged without their stylists. Gio will immediately want to boot as "spokes-hunks" that Portuguese nugget Cristiano Ronaldo and David Beckham, who always comes as a package deal with his bobble-headed wife."
Publicist: "With modeling conquered, how about a reality show?"